Belay my last!

So remember how the other day I blogged and said "things are basically fine"?

THINGS ARE NOT FINE. I REPEAT, THINGS ARE NOT. FINE!!!!!!

First, there's been the physical issues.

After posting last, I went outside for a jog since my gym is closed and I have to workout somehow. Apparently, despite its near ubiquitous coverage in the media, not everyone has gotten the memo on SOCIAL FUCKING DISTANCING. Some folks you pass on the sidewalk will gladly scoot three feet in one direction while you scoot three feet in the other, but other people are just ambling down the street as if nothing has changed. So as I was jogging, I encountered a person who embodied the latter attitude, and as a result I had to scoot away even further. Well, I came down weird on the edge of the sidewalk, twisted my ankle and ATE SHIT ON THE GROUND, scraping the first few layers of skin off my knee.

Then, as I was putting my accordion away the other night, I somehow stubbed my toe/tripped over the case, and I BROKE MY TOE.

My poor baby toe -- so bruised and swollen!

I BROKE MY FUCKING TOE DURING A PANDEMIC, and I know I know I know everyone keeps saying "even if you went to urgent care a doctor wouldn't be able to do anything for you, they'd just buddy tape it to your other toe and send you on your way" but THAT IS NOT THE POINT. The point is I broke my fucking toe during a pandemic and I can't even go get buddy tape right now because I DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT IS OR WHERE TO GET IT AND I DON'T WANT TO LEAVE MY HOUSE. So here I am, just living with a goddamn broken baby toe!

Then there is the mental aspect of social distancing. I am extremely lucky to have R here, and seriously, thank God for that. It would be a full on Lord of the Flies situation up in this joint if not for him here to keep me sane. But HOLY FUCKING SHIT, I need a happy hour. I am trying to send video messages to as many people as possible, but I feel like a flower pot that's been taken out of the sunlight and set in a dark closet. I'm WILTING!!!

And so you'd say, "well, how about treat yo'self to something nice?" Well, dear reader, I am two (limping, painful) steps ahead of you. I decided to order some wine from a woman-owned neighborhood bar and have it delivered to our house. However, just about 15 minutes after I placed the order, they put up a message on their Facebook page that they were ceasing all operations because one of their employees is sick, and while they don't know for sure if it's the coronavirus, they're not taking any chances.

So, can't walk/exercise, can't see friends, can't get wine. AAAGGGHAHHHHAHAHGHG.

Look, I know things could be so, so much worse. I mentioned my parents/brother in Cincinnati before, and I'm so worried about them I have knots tearing up my stomach. So far everyone I know is healthy, but I realize that could easily change and then I won't give two shits about my toe or my knee or the fact that I will NOT be getting a bubbly rosé tonight.

But at this exact moment in time, I'm FLIPPING THE FUCK OUT. Lord in heaven, FACETIME ME!!!!!!!

P.S. Also, on a much smaller but still annoying AF note: I put a can of soda and a can of seltzer water in the freezer this morning so they could chill faster and forgot about them until they exploded everywhere. FUCK!