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I have about as monogamistic a mind as you could get, and I tend to get really focused in on people when I feel I have some sort of connection with them. Clearly, I've been in a relationship for the better part of this decade, so this shouldn't come as too much of a surprise.
So again, I went into the date a little pessimistically because I had had such a good time with the lobbyist the night before and I was thinking about how much I want to see him again. BUT! I'm doing the whole "single" thing right this time -- I'm dedicated to meeting a variety of people and not getting too serious with one person too quickly. It's all about options!!! And bearing that in mind, I agreed to meet the pharmacist on a Saturday night.
The pharmacist had to work until 6:30, so we agreed to meet in Chinatown at 8:30. This was just fine and dandy for me -- I didn't have anything to do that day aside from clean up the apartment, do a grocery run and hit up Bed Bath and Beyond for some assorted items (my toilet seat has a cover now).
I had plenty of time to get ready and was, oddly enough, running early. Karmic retribution: The pharmacist texted to say there was a horrible traffic accident on his way home, and he was going to be late. Ha! No problem for me -- I probably deserved that one.
The pharmacist is of Indian descent, and on my profile I had written that I love Indian food, the spicier the better. So in our e-mails back and forth, we had discussed that and our favorite places to go eat. And in our discussions of what to do and where to meet, we had kicked around the idea of going to Rasika, which I've never been to but have heard lots about -- it's supposed to be some of the best Indian in D.C.
But when the pharmacist showed up, he was like, "Oh, so I figured we could go to Rosa Mexicano, have you ever been there?" I was like, fuck, I was just there last night! I hope the lobbyist doesn't repeat dates two nights in a row! But, I simply said I had been there and was willing to go back, so we started walking in that direction.
The pharmacist was shorter than he appears to be from his photos, and he was quieter than what I expected. (What's up with all these quiet guys contacting me?! I need to adjust my profile I guess.) But, OK, I guess I should clarify -- when I say the political appointee was quiet, it was that he had a subdued nature in general, and when I say the lobbyist was quiet, I think it was more that he seemed nervous. And the pharmacist's version of quiet is that he's soft-spoken -- I had to lean in to hear him a lot of the night, and ask him to repeat what he'd just said.
He was also wearing a lot -- A LOT -- of cologne, and while it didn't smell bad, it was just a bit much.
Rosa Mexicano was packed, so instead we walked around the corner for cocktails at Poste. It was a fairly nice night for November, so we sat at a table outside.
We started with the standard self-biography talk -- how long have you been here, where are you from originally, etc. The pharmacist went to Brown University for undergrad.
These guys I'm dating now make me slightly self-conscious about not only my level of education, but where I got my degree. It may be one of the top five journalism schools in the country, but let's be honest, Ohio University is known more for churning out graduates with cirrhosis of the liver than it is for producing journalists.
However, with the pharmacist, that actually made me score points. I get the sense that he's not necessarily looking for "The One" and is more on Match.com for a social outlet. He's big into clubbing, big into partying, big into drinking... like... still. At age 30. For me, that was kind of a turn-off -- every once in a while, I enjoy going out and getting ripped, clearly, but it's not an every weekend sort of thing. He lamented his pharmacist's schedule because he often has to work early on weekends and therefore can't go out.
He talked a lot about being a pharmacist, which was pretty funny... I asked him if he judged people by what prescriptions they were filling and he said, "sometimes," and went on to say that they have a shelf solely for Valtrex, and by the end of the week it's always completely empty. He also said the majority of what he fills is birth-control prescriptions. I guess everyone is getting laid hard-core in D.C.
And then the night got... stranger... he asked me about my experiences with Match. I was definitely thrown off by that -- I mean, my date asking about my other dates? I didn't know how to respond. I evaded the question the first time by saying, "It's funny that you ask me that, because today was actually a momentous occasion: I got 'winked at' by another girl!" (That is true, btw... lesbians like me, apparently!) The conversation twisted and turned from there, but then when we reached the end of whatever topic we had jumped on, he asked again about my experiences on Match!
He also did the other first date faux pas of bringing up his ex-girlfriend, and saying they were still great friends. (Ugh, I am so done with you people and your fucking ex-girlfriends. Cut the fucking cord and move on!)
Then we got back on the pharmacy thing again, and he talked about how paranoid it makes him about getting an STD or getting girls pregnant...
He then actually shared that he won't have sex with someone unless they're on birth control and he's wearing a condom, and even then when they're ovulating he won't finish inside them.
I don't think I needed that info on the first date... the good news is, though, I knew at that point he probably wasn't going to try to take me home, because that just wasn't happening. By then, however, I was on my second Grand Pear (a delicious pear-flavored drink served in a martini glass), so I felt comfortable sharing that I have an IUD so I'm not worried about getting pregnant. That, of course, sparked his doctorly interest, so he asked questions about which one I had and how long it lasts. I told him. He then asked if it made me not have a period -- I told him no, it actually makes my periods heavier.
Yes this is the conversation we were having on a first date. I discussed my period.
Anyway, we were still sitting outside, and it had gone from being a nice night to just being cold, so we went back inside to find the bathroom. The pharmacist asked where I wanted to go next...
You know, the strange thing is, even after all this stuff, I was kind of having fun. But being that I'm on morning shift right now, and we hadn't even gotten together until almost 9 p.m., which is my bedtime normally, I was seconds away from being completely comatose (it was almost midnight at this point).
I told him I was tired and that I needed to go home. So he walked me to the Metro, we hugged, and said maybe we'll see each other again.
Like I said, the funny thing is, I might be up for it! I don't think there is any romantic potential there -- I'm not necessarily attracted to him, and again he doesn't really seem like he's looking for romance so much as a social option. But he seems like a fun drinking buddy, so I don't know. We'll see.
While I don't believe myself to necessarily have made any rookie mistakes, I have one from the pharmacist.
ROOKIE MISTAKE: Don't bring up your ex on a date. I don't care how long it's been since you two split. DON'T DO IT.
Originally posted Nov. 26, 2009