Search
  • Katie

Up in the air

So, we did it. We're in the homestretch of the IVF process. Our embryo is sitting in a lab somewhere, waiting to meet me on Sunday morning. Sometime in October, we will start to raise a child who, with the power of our combined genetics, will one day be president.


A microscopic view of an egg fertilized by IVF.
Baby's first photo.

As long as nothing happens to the embryo between now and Sunday. Sometimes things just, well, go wrong, and the doctors can't transfer the embryo. So, as long as nothing happens to the embryo, we will raise a child who will one day be president.


As long as the embryo implants. That's something the doctor can't control -- it's entirely up to luck, as far as I understand it. The drugs they've got me on are designed to make it more likely that the process will go as planned, but sometimes it doesn't work. So, as long as nothing happens to the embryo and it implants, we will raise a child who will one day be president.


As long as I don't have a miscarriage. That's one thing no one likes to discuss about IVF -- women who undergo IVF miscarry at the same rates as women who get pregnant the old fashioned way. I could have gone through all this shit -- all the morning monitoring visits, the needle pricks, the medicines -- only to bleed out three weeks later. So, as long as nothing happens to the embryo, it implants and I don't have a miscarriage, we will raise a child who will one day be president.


As long as the kid doesn't have some big abnormality. R and I did some genetic testing ahead of time and while we know that we're both carriers of some types of recessive conditions, we're not carriers of the same ones. But those tests can't find everything, like autism, for example. So, as long as nothing happens to the embryo, it implants, I don't have a miscarriage and the kid doesn't have some big abnormality, we will raise a child who will one day be president.


As long as the kid doesn't get maimed in some way. It's a scary world out there sometimes. I know of at least two people in some of my closest circles who've been in devastating car accidents. Measles is on the rise because of dumb asses who spend five seconds on Google and think they know better than people who've spent years in medical school. And how many active shooters run rampant in this country every year? So, as long as nothing happens to the embryo, it implants, I don't have a miscarriage, the kid doesn't have some big abnormality and the kid doesn't get maimed in some way, we will raise a child who will one day be president.


As long as nothing happens to our family. I've mentioned before that my job status is a little uncertain, and while we'd be OK in the short term, we definitely can't afford for me to be out of work. We can manage small financial hits, maybe even a few big ones, but there are some things you just can't prepare for that would make it harder for our kid to thrive. So, as long as nothing happens to the embryo, it implants, I don't have a miscarriage, the kid doesn't have some big abnormality, the kid doesn't get maimed in some way and nothing happens to our family, we will raise a child who will one day be president.


As long as the kid's not an asshole. I say this half in jest, because R is such a cool cucumber guy that I can't imagine anyone genetically related to him being anything but the same. But who knows?! This kid could end up stupid, mean, violent or some combination thereof. Again, I would hope our parenting would prevent this outcome, but even some of the best parents have kids who end up in rehab. So, as long as nothing happens to the embryo, it implants, I don't have a miscarriage, the kid doesn't have some big abnormality, the kid doesn't get maimed in some way, nothing happens to our family and the kid's not an asshole, we will raise a child who will one day be president.


I'm 35. Given that that is the minimum age you have to be to run for president, I have to live through my entire lifetime one more time before I could even see the little embryo currently chillin' in a lab in Virginia become president. I like to think I'll live that long, and that I'll be lucid when the day comes. There are just so many question marks on the road ahead, so many "what ifs" that keep creeping into my brain. If I know myself, and I think I do, I can be sure the worries are only going to get worse with time.


But as long as nothing happens to the embryo, maybe it'll be OK.

58 views0 comments

Recent Posts

See All

Sometimes I feel overwhelmed by my wasted potential. In my 20s, I had a blog. A blog I couldn't wait to write in. I'd go on dates — terrible ones — and would start composing full paragraphs in my brai

I'm delinquent at blogging... yet again. But this time, I have a good reason: I'm sitting at my desk in the office in our new house with a 7-week-old baby strapped to my chest. We named her Maggie and

Oh, hey, been a minute since I've been in here, huh? A LOT has gone on since the last time I wrote: * The pandemic is still raging, though both R and I have now been fully vaccinated (Johnson and John